Dear P.B.,
I received your article for the blog and was surprised to say the least. In all my years of editing The Fouling Shot, I have never published an article quite like yours. I lack the words to describe it, but I have to say I was on the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading it. Actually I fell of my chair more than once. If it was too difficult a task for you, I understand if you don't want to write anymore articles. The membership will just have to struggle on without your words of wisdom. Your invention sounds interesting. I think I saw something similar on the tv show, "When Things Go Bad", so please be careful. It sounds as if you can not afford anymore body scars. You should avoid John for a while. He needs to get over the feeling he got when he pulled the trigger of his custom made CPA rifle at the last match and heard nothing and only felt a mushy pull. I last saw him heading over the target berm with his rifle in hand, hollering you name. His cap was hovering about a foot over his head, I had never seen anything like it before.
Sincerely,Glenn Latham
CBA Editor, The Fouling Shot
P.S. - If you do wish to forge on, please no photos.
Dear Glenn,
Glad you thout my first one was a real humdinger. I got purdy excited my self when I wasa writing it and whata cowinceident, I fell out of my chair to. Once when I wasa rechin for myin pencil and once when I fell aslep. So since you thout it was so good, I writted a nother yarn. Ima thinkin bout given up goat & pig ranchen to become a bonifered arthur. I sent thata spring back to John, fast deliverin mail. I included instrukshuns on how to weld and bend it back to shape. Thata was the least I coud do since he leta me bowerin it. The dam spring was just to big. I awso sent him a pikture of my inventsun, since he so rich I think he woud want to invest to get richer. Anyways I included my newest publikashon for your blob.
Yourin best shootin partnir,
P.B. Kaster
My castin carear begun when I wasa bout 12 yearin old. Sincen I runed out of shells for my Britsh Enfiled rifle, I had to do sumptin. Mr. Merg's store keep real ideel molds in stock real regulary. So I got me a ideel catolog, which I studyed real good. I setteled on mold number 31125. The oldtimers said this wasa the bullet to go with for the .303 calibur and it just so happened to be the same as myin Britsh Endfield rifle calibur and all. It was garentied to be accurate to 10,000 miles. That was what theyin call "advertisin hipe", to get you to buy it. I wasin smarter than that. I nuded that the maximum practickal range was more like from my house to old man Puthamington's house, bout 1 mile.
Now I figured I needed sum powder, primers, some loadin tools, castin matearells and sum lead for the ideel bullets. Mr Merg carryed all my needs exceptin, the lead. Once I saved enuff money, I walked in to Mr, Merg's and told him to fix me up with all I need to load real Britsh Endfield .303 shells. But there was one problim, he didnint carrie lead. He'd told me I coud get sum lead from Old man Kagnap's at his printin shop or from Albert's tire & auto. Now this lead that Mr. Kagnap had was that fancie kind of lead, you know for Afreeca huntin like. It was also expinsive, bout .20 - .25 cent a pound. Since I didnint plan on goin to Afreeca for a cupole years, I figired I just didnint need any of this spechil linotipe or monotipe lead.
The lead Albert's had was real cheep, free infact. It came in sevreal sizes of wheil waits, but all melted the same. Later on I figired I was gettin them whiel waits cheep cuse they was defektive. No matter how hot I got that kamp stove goin, parts of them whiel waits woud never melt. Them parts semmed to be much harder than them that meltied. I heard that linotipe and monotipe was hardear than wheil waits, so I figired thats what the not meltin parts were made of and rechoired special hi tempperture heat to melt um. It was not until I was bout 50 yearin old when I heared fello CBA member, Melvin Martinsun say them was steal clips and they was no good. O well, I halled all 9 pick up loads to the junk yard. It only took 6 days to shuval them into the pick up. But I figured I came out bout evin cause I got $28 cash for em!
Back to the castin. Once I got that first 50 pounds home, I wus set. But it were hard, tring to hawl 50 pounds of lead on a bisiskel with one square whiel was hard, spescelly up that last hill.
But back to the castin. I baroed Mamas biskit tin and made up some lead ingnots with them whiel waits. I then put the biskit tin back in the cup board beford she found it missin. Now I had 43 purdy lead ingots. At this point I figered I wasa set with lead for the next 10 years at lest.
Back to the castin. I had the ladeel Mr. Merg set me up with, but it was hard, real hard to melt them ignots in the ladeel. That is when I got the genyus ideer to get one of Mamas pots to melt them ignots in. I was reel carefull to wipe it out reel good when I was done and put it back up so shes woudnint knows I barroed it. She was very pertikular about her cookin utensills.
Back to the castin. I went back and studeed that Ideel catolog and figired that that ladeel was used for poorin the lead into the mold. But I got the hang of it reel quick. Once I got them cavitees filled, I woud close the top reel quick. Once the lead dried up to make reel bullits, I woud open the top and pound them bullits out. But here is a reel tip, insteed of poundin till they come loose and fall on the ground, use a punch & chiseel to drive them out, it is much faster. Tip #2, keep them fingars out of the way. Now after bout four hours, I woud have bout 20-25 kinda purty bullits. The rinkeels made them reel custom made bullits. Evereeone I showed them too said they had never seen anything like um, thats bekause theys were custume made.
Back to the casting. Nexted comed the lubrikating. Kuse I wanted to be ekonomical, I tried sevral homemade lubs. The first one was some pure buttar, but everee time I shot them bullits, I smelled Mamas homemade biskits and gots hungree. I think that was a combinashun of them lead ignots being made in Mamas biskit tin & the buttar. Next I tried a honey/earl/lard mixtir. Lets just say it did not work good. Then I settiled on baring greese and jello (orange works best). This is how I did (do) it. It one of your Mamas or the wifes ccokin pots, mix about two heepin spoonfulls of barin greese with one package of jello. Stir it reel good. Then heat it up til boillin. STOP. Now wile it is coolin sume, set them bullits up, base down in one of your Mamas or the wifes pin ten. Now here is whare I runned into a problum the first time. My bullits were leanin left & right. I solved this by hacksawin them bases flat. Tip. Becarefull of them fingars. Three weaks later when them bullits bases were flat, I set them up in that baroed pie ten. Next I heated up the baring greese & orange jello till bollin. STOP, QUICK. Now when little cooled, poor the lub to the top of the pie ten. STOP. Now wrap sume ten foil over top and slip it in the icebox when your Mama or the wife is not lookin. HIDE IT WELL. If they spot it, tell um its some possum livers & skunk hearts your takin to the huntin kamp. They will not touch it then and it will have time to get ready.
Next time I will tell you how I got them bullets out of that kwivering hunk of joy and loaded some reel .303 Britsh Endfield shells.
P.B. Kaster
I received your article for the blog and was surprised to say the least. In all my years of editing The Fouling Shot, I have never published an article quite like yours. I lack the words to describe it, but I have to say I was on the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading it. Actually I fell of my chair more than once. If it was too difficult a task for you, I understand if you don't want to write anymore articles. The membership will just have to struggle on without your words of wisdom. Your invention sounds interesting. I think I saw something similar on the tv show, "When Things Go Bad", so please be careful. It sounds as if you can not afford anymore body scars. You should avoid John for a while. He needs to get over the feeling he got when he pulled the trigger of his custom made CPA rifle at the last match and heard nothing and only felt a mushy pull. I last saw him heading over the target berm with his rifle in hand, hollering you name. His cap was hovering about a foot over his head, I had never seen anything like it before.
Sincerely,Glenn Latham
CBA Editor, The Fouling Shot
P.S. - If you do wish to forge on, please no photos.
Dear Glenn,
Glad you thout my first one was a real humdinger. I got purdy excited my self when I wasa writing it and whata cowinceident, I fell out of my chair to. Once when I wasa rechin for myin pencil and once when I fell aslep. So since you thout it was so good, I writted a nother yarn. Ima thinkin bout given up goat & pig ranchen to become a bonifered arthur. I sent thata spring back to John, fast deliverin mail. I included instrukshuns on how to weld and bend it back to shape. Thata was the least I coud do since he leta me bowerin it. The dam spring was just to big. I awso sent him a pikture of my inventsun, since he so rich I think he woud want to invest to get richer. Anyways I included my newest publikashon for your blob.
Yourin best shootin partnir,
P.B. Kaster
My castin carear begun when I wasa bout 12 yearin old. Sincen I runed out of shells for my Britsh Enfiled rifle, I had to do sumptin. Mr. Merg's store keep real ideel molds in stock real regulary. So I got me a ideel catolog, which I studyed real good. I setteled on mold number 31125. The oldtimers said this wasa the bullet to go with for the .303 calibur and it just so happened to be the same as myin Britsh Endfield rifle calibur and all. It was garentied to be accurate to 10,000 miles. That was what theyin call "advertisin hipe", to get you to buy it. I wasin smarter than that. I nuded that the maximum practickal range was more like from my house to old man Puthamington's house, bout 1 mile.
Now I figured I needed sum powder, primers, some loadin tools, castin matearells and sum lead for the ideel bullets. Mr Merg carryed all my needs exceptin, the lead. Once I saved enuff money, I walked in to Mr, Merg's and told him to fix me up with all I need to load real Britsh Endfield .303 shells. But there was one problim, he didnint carrie lead. He'd told me I coud get sum lead from Old man Kagnap's at his printin shop or from Albert's tire & auto. Now this lead that Mr. Kagnap had was that fancie kind of lead, you know for Afreeca huntin like. It was also expinsive, bout .20 - .25 cent a pound. Since I didnint plan on goin to Afreeca for a cupole years, I figired I just didnint need any of this spechil linotipe or monotipe lead.
The lead Albert's had was real cheep, free infact. It came in sevreal sizes of wheil waits, but all melted the same. Later on I figired I was gettin them whiel waits cheep cuse they was defektive. No matter how hot I got that kamp stove goin, parts of them whiel waits woud never melt. Them parts semmed to be much harder than them that meltied. I heard that linotipe and monotipe was hardear than wheil waits, so I figired thats what the not meltin parts were made of and rechoired special hi tempperture heat to melt um. It was not until I was bout 50 yearin old when I heared fello CBA member, Melvin Martinsun say them was steal clips and they was no good. O well, I halled all 9 pick up loads to the junk yard. It only took 6 days to shuval them into the pick up. But I figured I came out bout evin cause I got $28 cash for em!
Back to the castin. Once I got that first 50 pounds home, I wus set. But it were hard, tring to hawl 50 pounds of lead on a bisiskel with one square whiel was hard, spescelly up that last hill.
But back to the castin. I baroed Mamas biskit tin and made up some lead ingnots with them whiel waits. I then put the biskit tin back in the cup board beford she found it missin. Now I had 43 purdy lead ingots. At this point I figered I wasa set with lead for the next 10 years at lest.
Back to the castin. I had the ladeel Mr. Merg set me up with, but it was hard, real hard to melt them ignots in the ladeel. That is when I got the genyus ideer to get one of Mamas pots to melt them ignots in. I was reel carefull to wipe it out reel good when I was done and put it back up so shes woudnint knows I barroed it. She was very pertikular about her cookin utensills.
Back to the castin. I went back and studeed that Ideel catolog and figired that that ladeel was used for poorin the lead into the mold. But I got the hang of it reel quick. Once I got them cavitees filled, I woud close the top reel quick. Once the lead dried up to make reel bullits, I woud open the top and pound them bullits out. But here is a reel tip, insteed of poundin till they come loose and fall on the ground, use a punch & chiseel to drive them out, it is much faster. Tip #2, keep them fingars out of the way. Now after bout four hours, I woud have bout 20-25 kinda purty bullits. The rinkeels made them reel custom made bullits. Evereeone I showed them too said they had never seen anything like um, thats bekause theys were custume made.
Back to the casting. Nexted comed the lubrikating. Kuse I wanted to be ekonomical, I tried sevral homemade lubs. The first one was some pure buttar, but everee time I shot them bullits, I smelled Mamas homemade biskits and gots hungree. I think that was a combinashun of them lead ignots being made in Mamas biskit tin & the buttar. Next I tried a honey/earl/lard mixtir. Lets just say it did not work good. Then I settiled on baring greese and jello (orange works best). This is how I did (do) it. It one of your Mamas or the wifes ccokin pots, mix about two heepin spoonfulls of barin greese with one package of jello. Stir it reel good. Then heat it up til boillin. STOP. Now wile it is coolin sume, set them bullits up, base down in one of your Mamas or the wifes pin ten. Now here is whare I runned into a problum the first time. My bullits were leanin left & right. I solved this by hacksawin them bases flat. Tip. Becarefull of them fingars. Three weaks later when them bullits bases were flat, I set them up in that baroed pie ten. Next I heated up the baring greese & orange jello till bollin. STOP, QUICK. Now when little cooled, poor the lub to the top of the pie ten. STOP. Now wrap sume ten foil over top and slip it in the icebox when your Mama or the wife is not lookin. HIDE IT WELL. If they spot it, tell um its some possum livers & skunk hearts your takin to the huntin kamp. They will not touch it then and it will have time to get ready.
Next time I will tell you how I got them bullets out of that kwivering hunk of joy and loaded some reel .303 Britsh Endfield shells.
P.B. Kaster